i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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