I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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