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I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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