apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
