If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
