i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
