So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
