so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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