I look better un-naked...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
