I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize