check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
