she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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