i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
