Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
