i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
