he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
