So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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