Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize