how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
