after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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