I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
