My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Randomize
