I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
