she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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