I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
