guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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