fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
