please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
