I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
