As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Two words: nipple clamps
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