The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
