Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
