I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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