i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
