i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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