Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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