If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
