Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
