i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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