Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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