Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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