Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
