? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
