From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Welp...herpes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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