I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
