He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
