I can tuck mytits in my pants
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize