he wants to bone in the snuggie
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
