There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
