You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
