I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
