On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
