pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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