i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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