I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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