I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
