right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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