Cold hands, warm shart.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
