do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
a search helicopter?!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
